I think I died a long time ago.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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