eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
