those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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