that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
