I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
