I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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