fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
