ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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