Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
