And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
