I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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