Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I wish I could punch you in the face.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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