He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
