Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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