The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
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I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
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In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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