Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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