He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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