I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
