sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
we're so committed to being not committed
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
