A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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