He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i came on her dog
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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