I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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