I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
