I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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