I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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