Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
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Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
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We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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