I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
