Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
