just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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