You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
