Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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