then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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