it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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