theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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