Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
