i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
