We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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