didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
