No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize