I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Randomize
