So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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