At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
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it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
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Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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