Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
