Can Purell be used as lube?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
