How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
