I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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