It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
