I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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