I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
