The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
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You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
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I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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