He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
