she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
