I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
