Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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