dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
